There’s nothing better than the shock value of an innocent newborn wearing a onesie that sports a design or phrase bold enough to make you spit your drink out. Parenting is hard, so you might as well get some laughs out of it by using your cute baby to unwittingly deliver some clever jokes.
These funny baby onesies will make everyone do a double-take thanks to their snarky, silly, and straight cray messages. Here are our top funny baby onesie picks, and yes, you can have them all. (And you’ll probably want multiple outfits anyway, considering what hot messes babies are).
Awwww, from afar this looks like a typical baby onesie that sports a woodland creature. But up close, other people will do a double take as they’re let in on the sly joke. For fox sake is a nicer way of saying an expression that, if you have an Irish friend, you’ll be quite familiar with. And if someone doesn’t appreciate the humor, you can continue to give zero fox. This cotton onesie was made in the USA, and is available in sizes up to 12 months.
Orange really is the new black. Dress your former little jailbird up in this ring-spun cotton onesie that expresses the lack of freedom both of you experienced while your baby was living inside of you. The onesie has snap closures to make changing easy and the print is a 100 percent handmade silk screen to prevent cracking and fading. It also comes in four other colors if orange is not your bag. This onesie is funny for any parent, but it could be even more relatable for officers of the law.
One Reviewer Said: “Can’t wait for my grandson to be born so that he can wear it. I laugh every time I look at it. Well made, good cotton material.”
This cotton baby onesie sports a phrase that some might consider too raunchy for G-rated audiences (though to be fair, it technically is true). While we wouldn’t recommend dressing your baby in it for church on a Sunday morning, we do think it’s a onesie you can get a kick out of around your mom group or friends with an off-kilter sense of humor. Plus, you can strategically slip it on your baby to piss off your mother-in-law when she’s visiting. And if your MIL won’t get mad about this, then you’ve really won in life.
One Reviewer Said: “Everyone that saw my daughter in this onesie thought it was hilarious! I was afraid that someone might be offended by it, but the response to it was extremely positive and everyone kept asking, ‘WHERE DID YOU GET THIS???!!!’ The material is not as soft as a normal baby’s onesie is, but has a more adult t-shirt feeling, if that makes any sense. I would buy it all over again. And again. And again.”
All right, stop, collaborate and listen: Your baby may be too young to have enjoyed Vanilla Ice’s iconic hip-hop song, but that doesn’t mean they can’t wear a onesie that celebrates it. This onesie has “Ice Ice” printed on the front (sorry, you have to provide the baby) and will transport you back to 1989, when “Ice Ice Baby” became a certified hit and everyone thought they could be a lyrical poet. The onesie is made of 100 percent cotton and is soft and stretchy, and it comes in five different colors. There are three snaps at the bottom and an expandable lap shoulder neckline to enable quick outfit changes for when things get messy (which you know they will). For anyone who loves music or throwback pop culture, this onesie would make a great gift. Word to your mother: This onesie rocks.
One Reviewer Said: “Be prepared for confusion and puzzled looks from anyone born after 1985ish. I now keep the song saved to my phone rather than try and explain when asked what his shirt means when out and about. Otherwise, it’s crazy the number of people you hear singing the song to themselves after seeing this shirt on my little one. Makes me laugh every time. Had tons of people ask where the heck I got something so stinkin cute.”
For true Star Wars fans and tiny, soon-to-be fans, this onesie — which, fortunately, does not require traveling to a galaxy far, far away — is what you’re looking for. It combines the intimidating Galactic Empire soldiers with the equally terrifying substance that comes out of your baby’s bottom. The onesie is made from a pre-shrunk 100 percent ring-spun cotton jersey knit, and the design is screen printed on the front. There’s a snap bottom and lap shoulders, and your tiny Storm Pooper, er, Trooper, can wear their uniform starting from newborn until they’re 12 months old. May the force be with you (and your mini-you).
One Reviewer Said: “I got this onesie as a funny Christmas gift for my husband. He is a Star Wars nerd, so he appreciated the humor in it. We put it on her when it’s relevant. Definitely fits true-to-size!”
No matter what you were like before having kids, times have changed, and you’ve likely traded any semblance of thug life for 24/7 chug life. But your baby can still look cool sporting this 100 percent cotton onesie, which makes even baby bottles look stylish. It comes in four different colors, size newborn to 12 months, and has a snap bottom to make it easy to deal with diaper changes and the aftermath of your baby’s chugging.
One Reviewer Said: “I love this onesie!! I was so excited to dress my baby up in it! Everyone at her daycare loved it also!”
Gone are the days where you were poppin’ bottles in the club, but this funny baby onesie will still make you feel like a VIP… to an invite-only party that is so exclusive it only includes you and one pint-sized guest (BYOB required). Hey, if you’re going to be up at 2 am (and again at 4 am and 6 am, if not more frequently) with your baby, you might as well have a sense of humor about it. The onesie is made with 100 percent cotton and comes in two colors that use water-based inks so as not to irritate sensitive baby skin. There’s a three-snap bottom, and sizes range from newborn to 12 months. You can also get it in heather grey.
One Reviewer Said: “Love this onesie! Was exactly the quality and sizing expected”
Accidents happen — and if you’re expecting a baby soon, you’ll learn that newborns don’t necessarily choose a good time and place when they need to go. At least you can best prepare for the situation with this funny onesie that’ll make your kiddo seem like a proper lady or gentleman. This funny onesie is available up to 25 months in six different color options, some of which include a pair of pants. Er, pantaloons.
One Reviewer Said: “I got this for a friend’s baby shower. She said it was the funniest/best onsie and gave them some giggles.”
Something can be very funny, but also… true. While you know your baby is way more than a tax deduction, this onesie is still a good icebreaker for that big family event you have planned where everyone meets your little one. Available in five different colors, this onesie is made in the USA and has a 4.8 out of five-star rating on Amazon — which is a pretty solid achievement.
One Reviewer Said: “We purchased this onesie for our first grandbaby because his dad is a stickler about money. Oh, it was a hit, too funny! The item arrived sooner than expected, was well packaged, and the quality was higher than expected.”
This article was originally published on