Back-to-school season is here, and if you’re lunch-making skills have gotten a little rusty over the summer, it’s time to sharpen up those skills because let me tell you, the competition is fierce. A brown sack lunch with a PB&J and an apple are out, and hot meals with charcuterie assortments and adorable eating utensils are in.
One TikTok mom is trying to find the humor in the woes of lunch-making by pretending to be a private chef for her daughter (but wait, aren’t we all that anyway?) as she makes an actually pretty cute and nutritious lunch.
Kelsey Venkov takes her followers on the journey of getting her daughter’s lunch together while narrating her process in a hilarious voice over, poking fun at some of those intense, over-the-top lunches that pass through our social media feeds.
“Let’s pack Kensie’s first school lunch of the year for first grade,” she begins. “New school, new rules. She’ll need a snack and lunch every day. So while she’s learning Latin, I’ll be in the kitchen creating magic with my handcrafted meals.”
Venkov then reveals a nifty snack container which she fills with “crispy ranch-dusted triangles” aka Doritos snack chips, dried strawberries, and “hand-sewn fruit leathers” which are actually just store-bought fruit strips.
Next up, Venkov makes her “client” her entree using the “2023 House Red” and “a beautifully aged peanut cream” which is really just a standard peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She also cuts the sandwich into the shape of the bone because Kensie will “be missing her precious golden doodle while away at school.”
While Venkov preps to warm the thermos inside the lunchbox, she sets her sights on the “charcuterie.”
“Farm to table service is very important to her. So, I’m cutting up some english cucumbers and throwing in some tomatoes. I’m also bringing in some acidity using the freshly harvested blueberries, mangoes and strawberries,” she jokes.
As she opens up a box of store-bought macaroni and cheese, Venkov continues the gag, “I rolled and cut out the pasta noodles by hand the night before and paired it with an aged cheddar, which turned out lovely.”
Dessert for Venkov’s daughter consists of “a chocolate wafer filled with vanilla cream” AKA an Oreo cookie.
“I did include some animal utensils for direct plate to mouth service. For my client’s satchel, I was able to locate this in the jungle of the Amazon. I am using biodegradable cutlery like the environmental queen that I am.”
As she scoops ice from the freezer into her daughter’s water bottle, she gives a subtle nod to Elsa in Frozen for hooking her up, “I knew a friend in Arendelle who hooked me up with some glacier ice, and I paired that with some freshly squeezed mineral water.”
Venkov concludes the tongue-in-cheek clip with her hopes to meet her “client’s” standards for lunch.
“She is my toughest critic. but hopefully she has raving reviews from her three course meal, and I end up with my first mom Michelin star,” she says.
“I’ve worked for years in the Mom industry with no recognition,” she writes in the caption, keeping character. “But maybe this will be my year for the Momichelin.”
Though Venkov is obviously kidding about her locally sourced produce and artisan crackers, she actually did such a cute job on her daughter’s lunch. She kept the rouse going in her comment section as followers remarked how the video was laugh-out-loud funny.
One user said, “I’m dying!!!! 🤣❤️🤣”
“You’re saying you don’t have artisanal currants from the grapes you harvested in your backyard and aged for 12 months… weird,” Venkov responded.
I know it’s up to Venkov’s daughter, but I definitely think that she’s deserving of this “Momichelin” star!